Rock-a-Doodle Rewrite
by Merinus
Summary: This is what it sounds like, a rewrite of the movie Rock-a-Doodle. With less plotholes, different pacing, different character development, and a few surprises too!


**Hello, dear readers. When you saw Rock-a-Doodle, were you disappointed with it? This story is for you. Me, I remember somewhat liking the film when I was, like, ten years old. But rewatching it recently on VHS, I saw all the problems with the film. In fact, if it wasn't for those problems, it could have been one of my favourite films.  
**

 **The pace was too quick, some of the characters were underdeveloped, Patou's narration was obnoxious and unnecessary - and then there's the whole thing with Chanticleer's crowing genuinely raising the sun. I can accept that the sun rose** **that one time** **without Chanticleer's help. But by having it rising thanks to him creates a whole slew of problems, since it would eventually make him a decadent jackass, who'd do nothing good on the farm except crowing, and no one could confront him about it because then he'd just stop bringing up the sun, and everyone needs sunlight. (As Smithers put it in The Simpsons, without sunlight, "every plant and tree will die, owls will deafen us with incessant hooting; the town's sundial will be useless!") It's like the story "It's a Good Life" from "The Twilight Zone". So in my version, I made Chanticleer a flawed character.  
**

 **However, that's not the only change I made to the story, as you'll notice as the story unfolds. (For example, notice how there are seven hens who want to marry Chanticleer? That's a reference to Geoffrey Chaucer's story about Chanticleer, where he did have seven wives).**

 **What to expect in upcoming chapters: a fire-breathing owl, a magic mirror, and Nan, the clairvoyant dog!**

Our story begins with a mother named Dory and her five-year old son Edmond. The family also consisted of his father Frank and his brothers Scott and Mark, and they all lived at farm far away from where you are (so don't bother trying to find it). It was just a little bit after the sunset, and she had just put him in bed.

\- Hey mom, can you read me a story?

\- Sure, which one?

\- The one about a bird that chanted with a clear voice.

\- Oh, you mean Chanticleer.

\- Yeah, that's the one. I've only heard the story once, and it was so long ago.

She picked out from a shelf a book called _The Story of Chanticleer_ , sat down on his bed, opened up the book and started reading from it. It was a typical children's book full of pictures and big letters, nothing looked out of ordinary about the book.

\- Once upon a time, there was a cock named Chanticleer. He was known all throughout the nearby landscapes for having the loudest voice of any cock. Whenever he crowed, everyone would awake, not just at his farm but also at all the neighboring farms.

However, this he didn't care about at all. You see, Chanticleer, and everyone else at the farm, thought that whenever he crowed in the morning, the sun would come up. And he and everyone else thought that this is what made him special.

\- Mom, why was he named Chanticleer?

\- Because he was a French rooster.

\- Oh.

There Edmond saw a picture of Chanticleer crowing. Chanticleer, just like pretty much every other animal in the book, was depicted with a human-like body and with human clothing, as is typical for a children's book character. And next to that, he saw a picture of Chanticleer yelling at a cloud to go away. Both the cloud and the nearby sun was depicted as having faces. According the book, Chanticleer didn't drive the cloud away, it was already going away on its own accord. Chanticleer just thought that he was responsible for the cloud going away. But Edmond didn't catch on to this.

\- There were many animals at the farm.

The mother pointed at a picture of a dog.

\- This dog here is named Patou.

The boy giggled and thought, "Patou sounds like something you spit out".

\- Why was he named that?

\- Maybe because he was a French dog?

\- Oh.

"Hi, Patou, what you doin'?"

"I'm trying to tie these doggone shoes."

"Again?"

Next, she showed him a picture of seven hens.

\- Then there were these hens. All of them wanted to marry Chanticleer, but he wasn't interested in any of them. Instead he was waiting for the right one.

\- What does "the right one" means?

The mother took a few seconds to try to think of a good answer. But it's hard to explain love to someone who's just five years old, especially if he has to sleep soon.

\- You'll understand it when you get older.

"Well, hi ladies."

"Oh, he's so handsome."

"Sings like a dream."

"Dances like a dream."

"And he's single, too."

Then she showed him a whole group of animals.

\- This is Snipes the magpie. He's a troublemaker, but still helpful. That is Peepers the mouse. She's very smart and brave. Here we have Stueye the pig. And here we see Minnie rabbit.

For many years, life was good on the farm for everyone.

However, Chanticleer had a big problem. Since he thought that he was responsible for the sun rising, this imaginary ability made him think he was better than anyone else in the world, and he would soon get... cocky.

One day he came up to Patou and gave him a list of demands and said:

"I want all these things on this here paper, or else I won't crow again."

"A pay raise by a thousand dollars? Your birthday to become a national holiday? A nicer hut for you to live in? Fancier clothes? Free manicures? Free food at any given time of the day!? Chanticleer, you already live a good life and you never showed me before that you wanted any improvements in your life. So why in tarnation would you want any of these things!?"

"Well, I realised recently that, as the humble rooster who brings up the sun every morning, I just think I am deserving of certain privileges."

"But you don't _need_ any of these things! And I don't think you _really_ want them either! I just think you want to brag to the world about your privileges! And another thing, I don't think you know what the word 'humble' really means."

Chanticleer crossed his arms, turned his beak upwards, and said: "Nevertheless, if I don't get my demands through, the sun will never rise again. That is my final say on the matter."

Patou grumbled, then growled, and the finally said: "Fine! I'll fix all these things for you, you snob! But not for your sake, but because we need the sunlight!" Patou walked away very angry, thinking to himself that Chanticleer used to be a good guy.

Patou soon started to make the changes that Chanticleer wanted, and soon enough, everyone on the farm and every neighbor knew about what was going on. All the animals thought that Chanticleer was off his rockers, and abusing his power position. Everyone feared that Chanticleer would become a spoiled tyrant.

A few days later, on an early morning, not too long before sunrise, a stranger snuck onto the farm. It turned out to be a cock from another farm. Chanticleer laid where usually was, on the roof of the barn.

"Hey, Chanticleer!"

"Yes?"

"I've heard about the things you wanted to do at your farm! I want you stop that stuff, you're giving us other cocks a bad name!"

Chanticleer sniffed the air and started using hard to understand words, to show how he was better than this cock he was talking to.

"So what? Am I not allowed to act how I want? My crowing isolates and elevates me, and makes me a rare specimen. I am therefore justified in my behaviour! I am literally in a higher position than you right now, and well-deservedly so! You're just jealous of me! Now go away, the sun is about to rise soon, and you're bothering me, you common lowlife!"

"Nobody calls me 'lowlife' and gets away with it! Let's you and me fight!"

"Fine by me!" Chanticleer jumped down on the ground, ready to fight this stranger.

And so, a big cockfight started. I think it last about half an hour. They were both punching and kicking and biting and wrestling each other, and they both screamed loudly. Their feathers whirled in the air, along with clouds of dust. The fight was so loud that it awoke the other animals, who were all soon out there watching the fight.

In the end, Chanticleer won the fight. With the other cock just lying there beaten up, he put his foot on the other's cock's chest and smiled, happy with his victory.

However, in all the commotion Chanticleer had forgot to crow. And the sun was coming up without him, behind his back. Every animal gasped. Then Chanticleer turned around and saw the sun, and he too gasped.

"Look, it's comin' up without him."

"You're a phony."

"He's a fake!"

"So Chanticleer was lying to us all these years."

"To think we were dumb enough to believe him."

"And we wanted to marry him."

Snipes then cried and started imitating Chanticleer: "Hey, everybody, cock-a-doodle-doo! Now give me all your money and everything else you have!"

All the animals except Chanticleer laughed.

The mother showed him a picture of Chanticleer running away from the sun and the laughing animals.

\- When Chanticleer saw all of this, it broke his heart, and he started crying. He realised that his crow never did raise the sun. Thinking that he no longer had a reason to crow, Chanticleer quickly ran away from the farm, as the other animals were still too busy laughing to notice that he was already gone.

The mother then showed him the next picture, which was much darker. The picture was on the page next the previous picture, and it showed some animals that did not belong to any farm, and these animals showed of their fangs in happy glee.

\- But hiding in the darkness behind some trees nearby were a fox, a wolf, a bear and an owl. Like the farm animals, they too were in good moods, but instead of laughing, they were simply smiling...


End file.
